Classic and Creative Counseling and Psychotherapy in San Francisco and San Mateo, California
 

Carol Jaron, Marriage & Family Therapist
Carol Jaron
MS, MFT, CHT

 Carol Jaron
Marriage & Family Therapist &
Practitioner of Clinical Hypnosis
~ Professional ~ Integrative ~ Intuitive ~

Therapy for Adults / Adolescents / Families
Rapid Trauma Resolution
Anxiety, Self Image, Loss
Adult Attention Deficit Disorder
Food & Substance Abuse Issues
Personal & Professional Relationships

 

For Men: Pay Attention to You!

If you are a male who has simply gotten too busy to consider taking care of yourself, there are possibly several reasons.  Read on and find some simple ways you can begin to attend to this and increase your health and vitality, and be more present for both personal and business partners.

First, I would like to say that you as men may not have thought of what self care means or realized that is missing from your life. I am writing this because much more media, attention and focus on anxiety, depression, and other issues that deserve our attention are geared towards women, because the statistics are higher for particular disorders in females.

Well statistics may not be everything.

We can consider that there may be some inaccuracy as men do not seek help or report how they are feeling as often, and that research is often biased towards what is more easily seen already, such as it is common to find information on women being more anxious, and it is true that women's brains are wired to potentially amp certain emotions.

For men, the concerns about everyday responsibilities and job related stress sometimes translate to "I will be less stressed if I succeed at work, or if I get the job I want, or if I have money to take care of my family." Where are you in all of this as a guy who gets to have time or even thoughts about doing other things? Things you like that can add richness to your professional, romantic, or home life!

To find out, let's first look at more reasons you might benefit greatly from a little more self care.

    1. As males you are often given the idea that you will be recognized more on what you accomplish in certain areas, instead of how attending to your deeper mind and heart could further you in all areas!

    2. You might have always gone to the gym and worked out, or gotten to the top of the ladder to feel strong and dismiss built up stress or tried to be tough through harsh times by tucking emotions away, until it leaks out as irritation or exhaustion.  Your motivation is sapped and you have no idea why, or ignore it and push on.  Paying attention to your physical self, along with allowing healthy ways to attend to emotions in order to get where they are coming from, helps to have more of a core inner strength, as well as more energy.

    3. You might have believed all this time that you have to think positive, which has reversed itself as brushing past painful or aggravating happenings for too long has given your mind unproductive, draining, or anxiety provoking thoughts.  On the flipside, with a little attending to, thoughts can join with direct experience and create a more authentic joy or calm inside when they are explored in a non-judgmental way.

    4. Your self image could revolve around what you perceive your family, our culture, and the media expects of you.  This includes appearance, performance (at work and play), and competing to be the best, and not allowing yourself to even breath before you do.  When you approach your image of yourself from within as opposed to only the outside in, you have less feelings of failure or incompetence and more of a relaxed, centered confidence which leads to what?  The success and goal completions you aimed for in the first place!

    5. You meditate or do yoga, yet even try to top yourself out in these hugely beneficial practices - which cancels out some of the wonders of how they could contribute to neuroplasticity in the brain and flexibility and peace in the body.  Many times I have noted a subtle self criticism around these activities in both sexes, yet males may turn it into more of a competition in their minds (which is magical for winning at other recreational physical feats).  Of course I know there are plenty of you whom have gotten to a place of acceptance and are comfortable with how you practice these or develop so much from mindful beliefs, yet I have seen them also have unknowns in how to connect this to real life struggles.

    I will note here how very important it is to find a way of meditating or mindful awareness that fits you and your lifestyle so that you will continue with more ease and be less likely to notice one day you have dropped it.

Lastly, although we could go on, what have you learned about emotional intimacy, caring for your body in more extensive ways, and developing your spirit?   Many men have awakened to how enriching this can be to one's life and how it can increase self satisfaction in a real, rather than inflated way.   They are teaching and helping others and are a great resource to all of us!

However, many of you have yet to discover this goldmine of resources inside of you.

Many males I like to work with in counseling or therapy could be struggling with anxiety or depression, recovery from addiction, and body image issues, focus challenges and trauma management as adults; yet the purpose I am presenting here is that no one needs to wait for any of those to occur to begin looking into yourself, body, head and soul.  Consider maintenance and little tuneups in an everyday way and in finding joy beyond hard work.

Taking care of the emotional and physical, plus deepening how you identify who you are in full truth, is powerful preventative care - with a sweet feeling of accomplishment.

I encourage you to allow me to assist at anytime by teaching you the most fitting path to mindful awareness or simple release of the work-day in expanded,  individually tailored techniques.    The intent is to uncover and clear what is blocking your creative gifts,(although even creative folks' perfectionism can rear its head a bit too much) and tap into them for overall life satisfaction.

In any case, introduce yourself to the art of self care. Take a little down time, appreciate the beauty of the outdoors, feed yourself good solid nutrition on more levels than eating, give your irritability or worry a voice, even if just in writing or during a solo activity or with someone you like or love, and enjoy.

You will most likely notice improvements in quite a few ways!

Carol

 

            Carol Jaron, MS, MFT, CHT
            Offices in San Francisco & San Mateo
            (650) 464-4387
            (415) 541-5004
           
      caroljtherapist@yahoo.com

The information on this web site is not intended to be comprehensive or a substitute for one on one care by a mental health professional, such as myself. If I can be of assistance to you or your family, I encourage you to contact me. PLEASE NOTE: If you have a life threatening emergency, please call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.

2008-2015 Carol Jaron, MFT.  All Rights Reserved.    

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