Classic and Creative Counseling and Psychotherapy in San Francisco and San Mateo, California
 

Carol Jaron, Marriage & Family Therapist
Carol Jaron
MS, MFT, CHT

 Carol Jaron
Marriage & Family Therapist &
Practitioner of Clinical Hypnosis
~ Professional ~ Integrative ~ Intuitive ~

Therapy for Adults / Adolescents / Families
Rapid Trauma Resolution
Anxiety, Self Image, Loss
Adult Attention Deficit Disorder
Food & Substance Abuse Issues
Personal & Professional Relationships

 

Love, Vulnerability and The Gently Opening Heart

I will be approaching here the subject most of you think and feel strongly about....Love! Though we can go into this wonderful mystery of the heart in many different ways, today I will show you how it is possible to open yourself up to love without fearing that vulnerability in this place is a weakness.

To begin with, it is known that loving in any capacity towards self or other can bring joy, warmth and even a sense of expansion of the self. On the other hand many have experienced pain, feeling rejected or frightened by attempting acknowledging love of yourselves or sharing and directing it towards others.

Is it any wonder that there are songs about all ("all" instead of "both", I say, as it is way beyond two) sides of love? This is because all of these experiences are legitimate and very human, for men, women, teens and little ones when in relationships or simply reaching out for connection. As a result, some may be more cautious and others may get right back up and jump in again, or shut down altogether if they feel like it has been too hurtful of an experience.

Then there are those of you who grow and move forward and keep opening to chosen people or areas, or enjoy the stillness of going inside the self and allowing a look at what you peacefully accept about you or even can celebrate, whether success has happened in connections with others or not. All of these have one commonality. Being able to be vulnerable enough to know what you are feeling in the first place! We might be negating this type of emotional awareness when it actually furthers us all!

How many times does someone hold back loving feelings because they are afraid of being rejected, non-reciprocated, or even judged?

Notice gently, how often some of youwithholdlove in different ways and forms out of anger or the inaccurate thought that this will teach someone something or manipulate them. Eventually comes the learning at some point if not right away, that this doesn't work.

Of course, it is valuable to keep from blindly throwing your loving behaviors or words out there in situations when you are being taken advantage of or abused and it is time for perhaps choosing to stay away from that situation. Yet, the real trick here is to turn the love within instead of tuning in against yourself. Here it helps to be vulnerable enough to allow yourself to process all that has happened and that in all your hurt, resentment and sadness it is far more effective to find help or use your skills you may already have to stay with yourself as you move through it. It really can get better and ease up if you trust what is authentic inside.

It has been found that we use much less of our brain than we have the capacity to. I would like to apply this notion to heart expression and awareness. Another sweet fact about vulnerability is it enables us to actively step further into the heart than ever in more and more new ways, radiating out to so many places and living things! This adds to the quality of life and reduces all the effects of tougher aspects of living in the world.

Does this sound weak? Actually it is about vulnerability bringing you to a higherresilience...yes, theabilityto practice being vulnerable is actually a huge strength! Why? Because it takes strength to be vulnerable and it makes you stronger after choosing to do so in a healthy way, where it is congruent in both its inward and outward expression.

Now back to the opening of your heart piece. Each time and every way in which you live from the "heart" of your true self, and let that guide you, it is a successful use of vulnerable states. Softness that you might need to tune into living more of that depth can be a trait that brings you to a most planted and solid sensation. Yet you can still be protected from your biggest dread as you can show up as strong beauty rather than thinking you look like a fool.

If you choose to make this move to open up for the first time or once more after promising yourself you would not take the risk again, that is true courage and you represent the best of what strong could ever mean.

Let me know please if there is any way I can guide you with the uses of vulnerability and how they connect you to enhancing your loving capacity.

Carol

 

            Carol Jaron, MS, MFT, CHT
            Offices in San Francisco & San Mateo
            (650) 464-4387
            (415) 541-5004
           
      caroljtherapist@yahoo.com

The information on this web site is not intended to be comprehensive or a substitute for one on one care by a mental health professional, such as myself. If I can be of assistance to you or your family, I encourage you to contact me. PLEASE NOTE: If you have a life threatening emergency, please call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.

2008-2015 Carol Jaron, MFT.  All Rights Reserved.    

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